Grubeus Shagrid, At Your Service

Low-energy day today: I spent a good part of yesterday playing the part of Shagrid, distant cousin to Hagrid of Harry Potter fame, convening an American expansion of the famous Hogwarts School. This was the consequence of my daughter’s request for a themed birthday party. One thing I discovered: it’s hard to find a fake beard in the middle of January. Another thing I discovered: if you spray-paint a grey wig brown, it will smell so toxic even after drying for three days that you won’t be able to wear it. A third thing: magic potions made from vinegar and baking soda are surprisingly sticky when they overflow and then dry on the dining room floor. But it was good fun.

My mom happened to bring along some of my old schoolwork from first through third grades. Reading through a stapled-together volume of “Monster Stories” I wrote from when I was nine, I came across the following, in between various stories about monsters robbing banks, pushing other monsters off cliffs, and getting into arguments with witches. See if you can guess what year it was.


Monster News


President Monster has tapes!
They could be the answer.

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3 Responses to Grubeus Shagrid, At Your Service

  1. David Chudzicki says:

    I don’t know the history too well– does this make you a relatively early adopter of the ‘-gate’ suffix?

  2. Timothy Burke says:

    Well, let’s just say I was responding directly to the original “gate”. Which had an annoying habit of interrupting my afternoon cartoons.

  3. evangoer says:

    I don’t know the history too well either, so I’m glad to finally learn the *precise* reason why everybody hates Nixon.

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