Creepy. Plus: he’s bad!
Please, Rowling, you aren’t going to do something that cliched are you? The eye had better not be what I think it is.
Hey, he’s kind of nice for once. Sort of sweet.
Wow, big action scene. Exciting. NO! Geezus, didn’t see that coming.
Nail-biting. Is everyone ok? Ouch! No body found on that guy, I invoke superhero rules.
What are those things for, I wonder. “I open at the close”. Hrm.
Here comes the bride!
Could Rita Skeeter have a point?
Good thinking, Hermione. Hey, how’d those guys do that?
Ah, now I see why Kreacher had to be in the story.
Wow, it’s like an episode of Mission: Impossible. Exciting stuff!
Now what? Oh, they’re all thinking the same thing.
It’s like the One Ring, only with 75% less calories. But where’s Mount Doom?
Interesting conversation. Kind of convenient that those guys are just hanging out here fishing or whatever.
YOU BASTARD! COME BACK HERE! Shit.
Don’t trust her. SNAKE! AGH! One hundred thousand nine-year olds just got nightmares.
Yeah, whose patronus is that, anyway? One more bad sign that Rowling’s pulling the cliche. Oo, Harry joins the Polar Bear Club. And he’s back! Thank god. Cool, One Ring down without any fingers lost.
Oh fuck. Now what!! How are they gonna get out of this one? Looks bad. Wait, he’s back? I was wondering when he’d show up to save the day. Good timing. Excellent save! OH NO! [sniffles]
Ok, Harry’s done with his Hamlet phase, getting decisive now. Good job. More Mission Impossible stuff, or is this To Catch a Thief? How are they going to fit all these action bits into the film when they make it? Yow! Ouch! Go go go go go!
[checks book] How is she going to wrap this all up? Getting close to the end. Ah, of COURSE one of those thingies is there. I knew it. (So did Harry.) Oh NO Voldemort is on to them. The Amazing Race commences.
Hey! I forgot all about that guy after reading the Skeeter thing. Nice gun-on-mantelpiece, Rowling. And you really weren’t doing the cliche thing at all! Mad props to you. Ah, so THAT’s the real story about Dumbledore. Wow, totally makes sense.
BIG FUCKING CLIMAX. FUCK YEAH. EVERYTHING. BOOM! WOW! Oh no! GO PROFESSOR MCGONNEGAL. AGGGGH! OUCH! OOOO!
Here it comes! He’s gonna get his. Wow, that was kind of an anti-climax. I want to know all the secrets.
Oh, here come the secrets via ghostly wizard-vision flashback. Ok, kind of what a lot of people said. Yes, it was love.
OH DAMN! EVERYONE WAS RIGHT! [tearing up] Just what a lot of people said. But it’s a bit early, looking at the pages that are left.
Hey. Oh, interesting. Oh, is that it? Ok. Interesting.
Now for the real finale.
Awwwwww. Awwwwwwwwwww. AWWWWWWW. Sniffle.